Photo by whoislimos on Unsplash

Frustrations we think we can control are exhausting

Jeffrey Rousseau

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One of the worst things about having frustrations in life? Is remembering they’re constant and we may seemingly “have no control” over them.

I try to stay well informed/knowledgeable about the systems we live within and the universe of their influences.

However, I seemingly have no say in my hunt for an affordable apartment. I’m at the whims of fate when it comes to making more money. My creative output is a dice roll of inconsistent circumstances.

Like most folks, I’m sure your own more unique and personal frustrations that are laundry list long. I’m most concerned with the not so personal…but are personal things I’m told I should have control over.

Speaking to my therapist, we both acknowledged that the issue is I believe these are problems I can solely fix. But of course it don’t work like that in a society of where inequalities and hierarchies exist everywhere.

Anywho, that’s why the anger, sadness, and depression hold hands and dance in a playful circle in my mind. I’ll quote Denzel Curry from latest album.

“My mind is a playing field for mental arguments.”

“My thoughts are sayin’ my emotions is who started it,” — Denzel Curry

Black and white silhouette of a sad Black person
Photo by Hunter Newton on Unsplash

I’ll keep it real, this is that…less sexy story they don’t like to make movies and media about. This is the average joe shit, where all your best efforts seemingly don’t change much. Which is fine and totally normal because life is going to life nah I mean?

But as I look at my irritations it’s hard to not feel like an abject failure or loser. It’s difficult to think otherwise when the greatest of accomplishments, achievements, and wins are applauded by “everyone”. Again, I know that’s factually not true.

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Jeffrey Rousseau

I bat for PoCs, marginalized, equality, inclusion & geekdom. I'm warming the bench until coach subs me in. https://linktr.ee/jeffreyrousseau