When am I most authentic?

Jeffrey Rousseau
3 min readDec 27, 2022
Photo by Oswald Elsaboath on Unsplash

This might be my last write up of 2022 (if I don’t talk music) and that’s quite fitting.

Because on the back end of trying to live and paying the bills I’ve had a thought on loop: When am I at my most authentic?

Shit, I ask myself that and I legitimately have no idea. Not because I don’t know when or why, do I know what I’m asking myself?

Worthy of acceptance or belief as conforming to or based on fact — Merriam-Webster

It’s a multifaceted introspection of how I understand myself and the different roles I engage in as a person — by choice or forcibly so.

If you’re think wow that’s pretty heavy to think about? Congratulations, you’re new to my writing.

So, when do I feel like I’m my honest self or close to it?

Perhaps it’s when I’m alone in my apartment, thinking about my décor?
When I’m among my family and they talk to like I’m still 7?
Is it when I’m in space with my friends and talking about stuff?
Maybe when I’m in my various chat groups talking about various topics?
Perhaps it’s when I’m visiting a museum and thinking about art?

Photo by Oswald Elsaboath on Unsplash

Not false or imitationMerriam-Webster

Is it when I’m trying to “impress” a romantic interest?
When I sit in front of my laptop and write words?
Perhaps it’s when I publish work on this very personal blog of mine?
Maybe it’s when I’m in conversation with my peers about real shit?
Perhaps it’s during my therapy sessions?

Maybe it’s when I recognize that the pursuit of more wealth is a trap?
Is it when I realize despite my job I can’t write like the majority?
Perhaps it’s when I remember that this blog is the realest I can be?
Is it when people whom I trust hold me accountable to do better?
Perhaps it’s knowing that there’s always more to learn?

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Jeffrey Rousseau

I bat for PoCs, marginalized, equality, inclusion & geekdom. I'm warming the bench until coach subs me in. https://linktr.ee/jeffreyrousseau